I could have gone of f the deep end, shut everyone out, shut the world out and sought for whatever it was to make me numb. I could have gotten into drugs and partied hard, I could have slept around.
I could have….
There are a lot of the could have’s, the what if’s that we all ask ourselves. Like asking them and wondering will make what the reality we have seem better, or worse, depending on how you look at it. No matter how many times a doctor has told me that wondering about the what if’s and the could haves won’t change it, I still think about it.
What if I wasn’t the stocked girl that was grabbed?
What if I had told the dance company yes? Would I be center stage in some Broadway dance production? Would I have turned into an anorexic from the pressure? Bulimic? Would I have stuck to it when it got hard?
Would I have had a boyfriend the year I was taken? Lost my virginity to a boy I thought I loved to only have him break my heart? Or would I still be with that boy?
Would I live in Forks still or somewhere else in the country? The world maybe? I had always wanted to see Paris, and Italy.
Its a short preview, but I'm working on getting this posted ASAP. I've slacked a little on it due to being with family, they come first.
